3 Ways Couple Counseling Will Work Magic For You
Why is it that couple counseling works really well for some couples and enables them to move on to a happy future together, while other couples seem to only unravel even quicker while they are attending these sessions? When a marriage hits a rough spot some people see therapy as the way out. They somehow think talking is going to make it all better, especially when both people really do not want to get a divorce.
Obviously, there has to be something that makes the difference between couples that eventually restore the marriage and those that simply fall apart, right?
You may assume that it is a difference in the type of problems that each couple has to overcome, but that is not the answer.
Couples facing the most extreme issues can make it through counseling and find happiness together.
Ultimately, couples who do not make it never understand that they have to do more than just talk at one another during those sessions. Let’s look at a few ways that you can make your own sessions work in your favor.
It all starts with your own attitude. If you go in defensive and ready to prove all your spouse’s thoughts and accusations wrong, then you are not really listening to what they have to say. Drop your guard and just really listen to what they are saying, not what it means about you personally.
The second step is to speak honestly and from your heart without holding back. Even if what you say might hurt your spouse, you have to get out what is hurting and hindering you in the marriage. Hopefully they will give you the same respect and listen as you did to them.
Third, you have to stop name calling and finger pointing and just get down to feelings.
All the things you normally fight about are really just masks for larger underlying issues, and those issues are often emotionally based.
If you can do those things and go into each session with the right attitude than chances are high your spouse will follow suit and the real issues can be discovered. Then, you have to really do something about those issues outside of the sessions.
Working things out in couple counseling is ultimately not about the talking. It’s about taking the talking into your everyday life to make the deeper issues all better. This is ultimately what successful couples do to stay together.